I’ve written a fair amount about the difference between fixed versus growth mindsets, with a recent post offering three ideas for fostering the growth mindset to better appreciate and enjoy change.
Today I’m going to change directions from what I had originally listed as next in line in this series of Appreciating Change, because, well, that’s one of the most awesome aspects of change. That we have the freedom, and the right, to change our minds!
The finality of the fixed mindset.
When operating from a fixed mindset, we consider change as a done deal, even before the event itself has happened. We’ve made the decision to change, and therefore we must do it. There is no going back, because we’ve made our choice, and once our choice has been made, that’s the end of that.
But who wrote this rule as it applies to change and human nature?
Why can’t we re-evaluate the situation and decide, "Oops! I’ve made a mistake. I think I’ll shift gears and try this other approach/direction/option instead?"
We have become so fixated on the finality of decisions that we’ve lost sight of our very human capacity to change our minds; to change course.
When driving to your destination, have you ever decided to change your route because traffic in your first route was intolerable? Have you ever returned an item you’ve purchased because it wasn’t what you thought it would be, or for some reason was dissatisfied?
Why the double standard?
Why is it that we find it acceptable to change our minds about those sort of things, but have such a difficult time allowing ourselves to change our minds about change?
It seems that our word has taken precedence to authenticity. And these days we hang on every word.
These days, to change course is to make a mistake, and to make a mistake is bad. I say bullshit.
If we take the adventurer’s perspective with our change, then if one approach isn’t working, it is not just expected that we try a different one, but we have a responsibility to ourselves, and anyone who’s chosen to follow, to do just that. After all, to be self-reliant is to fully trust in ourselves and our instincts.
When involved with collaborative change, we purposefully relinquish some control to the collective wisdom of the group; however, when it comes to our own personal changevolution, the change we make is ours, and ours alone.
While considering others is a good thing to do, if we accommodate their needs or expectations above our own, then we’re basically relinquishing our position to them, and putting them in charge. Fine if that’s our choice, but it’s a travesty when we do that out of fear of being wrong.
Making mistakes is human, and we are entitled to change directions when it feels right. We are our own compass, and by ignoring our internal GPS, we run the risk of getting ourselves, and anyone along for the ride, lost in the process.
Giving ourselves and others the gift of acceptance for changing course is one of the greatest ways to appreciate all that change has to offer.
Our journey of Appreciating Change continues for two more posts. Coming up next: Why Change Is Like A Holiday.
About the Author
Megan Rounds, Ed.D. is owner and principle perculator of perculcha, llc.
All Changevolution Change & Vulnerability Choice & Change Finding Solace Internal/External Change Loop Making Change Stick Mindset Preparing For Change Reactions To Change Reflection Shoulds Smooth Transitions Social Side Of Change Time Tips & Tools Uncertainty
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