Solace is a state of being, of feeling calm and comforted. While it can be brought about by things or personal experiences exclusive of other people, to truly feel connected - which Brene’ Brown suggests is what gives “purpose and meaning to our lives”, and is a crucial component in the form of support for a smooth transition to change - we have to be willing to show our true face to others. And this requires the courage to be vulnerable.
A couple of posts ago, I mentioned I’d be highlighting some of Dr. Brown’s work on vulnerability, and it seems appropriate to do so now. I believe her work to be quite relevant when overlapped with change and transition, and considering our recent adventures into the world of finding the right kind of solace, or support, to meet our various needs during transition, it seemed like a good segue into Dr. Brown’s work.
Wholeheartedness - what is it?
While researching connection, Dr. Brown took a detour to explore a subset of her research focused the concept of shame; the thought that “I’m not good enough”, and discovered a group who appeared to possess a high sense of worthiness. This sense appeared to be driven by a belief of love and belonging, and seemed to be lacking in those people who were struggling.
Dr. Brown associated the word, wholehearted, to this group, who were found to possess certain characteristics that set them apart from those who were otherwise challenged by a sense of shame. Those characteristics were courage, compassion, connection, and fully embracing their own vulnerability.
I will touch upon each of these characteristics in more detail and how they fit within the context of change and transition in the coming days.
Identifying with our change.
Suffice it to say that adopting a wholehearted perspective, if you don’t already have one, is probably not as easy as saying “just do it”, as it requires the ability to shift our perspective about how we identify with our changes and transitions.
In contemplating this idea, several aspects of how we identify with our changes came to mind - which I will write about after the posts about wholeheartedness and vulnerability - because I believe we can’t have one (wholeheartedness) without more clearly defining the other (how we identify with our change).
As a preview, the components that emerged for me in relation to how we identify to change and transition include: image, pride, control (and/or how we cope), beliefs about process, positioning, and our general tendencies or preferences where change is concerned. I reserve the right to tweak these components as I delve deeper into their characteristics, but I thought you might like to be aware of what’s coming down the road.
An invitation to share.
In the mean time, when have you experienced or observed wholeheartedness during change and transition? How did it show up in behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, or perceptions? Please share your thoughts and let’s have a conversation!
About the Author
Megan Rounds, Ed.D. is owner and principle perculator of perculcha, llc.
**Please note RSS Feed not compatible with Chrome without an extension.